Finding Your Silver Lining
When I got rejected by EPIK, I was crushed. But after I allowed myself to cry (I hate crying), I picked myself back up and looked for other ways to continue chasing after my dream of teaching English in Korea. I found out about TaLK and a wonderful recruitment agency that caters to applicants of private institutions that same night I was told I was disqualified from joining EPIK. I sent in my applications to both and started the waiting game. Again.
As any other ESL applicant may tell you, the waiting part is the hardest. In my case, I basically put my life on hold: I had resigned from my job as a nurse, declined offers from hospitals and other organizations, and just…waited. I had gambled everything on a slim chance that I could get in. I am not a gambling person at all. I just wanted it that much.
The recruiter got back to me first and started emailing me a list of hiring employers. I honestly felt stuck. I wanted the government scholarship more mainly because I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about private institutions. I gathered all my required documents for both, just in case I got rejected again by either one.
Then we got flooded. I live in the basement so I lost everything: books, furniture, shoes, electronic stuffs, my KPOP collection (including the CD Seungho signed)—the water had risen to a foot from the ceiling. Again, I allowed myself to cry. I knew I could replace everything but that signed CD. That was what broke my heart the most. But I couldn’t wallow in my sadness. I’ve always been a resilient person. I step back from whatever situation, assess it rationally, and deal with it sensibly. There were a lot of things to do after the flood and I concentrated on those.
Two days later, I found out my car had not been spared. I had almost paid it off. I loved that car. I had taken care of it so well and it didn’t have a lot of mileage on it. So I started the insurance claim process on it. All I was hoping for was that I could get enough to pay off the balance on my loan. I wasn’t even hoping to get any extra money off of it.
I had to do all these before my scheduled 3-week vacation to the Philippines. I was stressed but I looked forward to hearing from TaLK. And I did. Only to find out that my application was still under review. Self-doubt ate at me again. Was it going to be EPIK all over again?
The day before my flight I got an unexpected call from the Seoul office. They interviewed me and it lasted for half an hour. I felt like I blew it after I got off the phone with the lady. I have this tendency to talk so fast when I get nervous, and that’s not exactly a good thing when you want to be considered as a teacher.
Days into my vacation, I woke up from a nightmare. In my dream, Seoul had sent me 3 huge portfolios detailing their reasons of rejecting me. I thought it was a sign, so it was with a heavy heart that I opened my e-mail.
The first e-mail in my inbox was from TaLK and the first word that jumped out at me was…Congratulations!
I quickly opened it and read the acceptance letter. I was so ecstatic I started screaming and jumping on my cousin’s bed, effectively startling her awake (sorry cuz).
Looking back, I can say now everything really does happen for a reason. Had I been accepted by EPIK, I would work more hours than I have ever worked in my life. I am so used to working only 2 days a week (as a nurse) that it would have been hard jumping from that to 30 hours a week. Had the flood not happened, I would still be paying off my car on a much lesser salary. But now, my insurance is going to pay me enough where I can completely pay it off and have extra to pay my student loans. I am really amazed at how God works. When I was insistent with my own plans, nothing panned out. But when I learned to surrender everything to Him, He arranged it just so that I would not lose sight of my silver lining.
#ADayForHIM | 900419 | Its our princess’s birthday! say happy birthday to him, baby-duel. Himchan-ah, first I know its hard for you to accept the fact that you can’t enjoy performing and show your prettiness after months not getting on stage. But you know what? We all have been supporting you from the back. I wish you could see that people here, mostly babys, have been missing you like hell. For the past months we’ve been talking about you, and we got pretty excited hearing you’re getting fine and healthy now. With your greasiness and excitement, its all gone when you’re not with them. B.A.P is not complete if there’s no six of you guys reunite. But we totally understand the condition and never complain. I swear you are the coolest, derpy guy i’ve ever met, although you don’t know me ((at all)) I fell inlove with you & made you as my bias. Seeing you hurt, hurts me too. Because I love you. Now, lets forget the past, the horrible past. Lets start a new future with you. Happy 23rd birthday sweetheart, stay healthy and you know, I will forever and ever, love you ♥
